Saturday, September 13, 2008

music.

Isn't it strange how you can hear a song and literally teleport yourself back in time to an exact moment in your memory. Sometimes more than just a moment, ...literally right there, back to a tiny millisecond of a feeling of a moment. Your nervousness. Your sadness. Your excitement. Your impatience. Your stomach dropping. Your fear. Your doubt.

See, I have a little Counting Crows weakness. Pete W. is about the only person in my life who I feel as understood by based on an obsession with lyrics, musical inspiration, and sometimes, what can only seem to be a submission to a song and a moment with that song that can define our lives. I had one of those moments tonight.

I realize that the Counting Crows aren't current. They probably aren't cool or cutting edge or even inspiring to most. But, for some reason the Counting Crows have seemed to help define and/or be a soundtrack to just about every single important moment in my life. I haven't even listened to them in years! And I put that CD in tonight as I returned home from a few beers with friends and instantly reflected upon 20, maybe 30 past moments I've relied on them to provide insight, comfort, or just a tune to sing along to.

I remember road-tripping across the country to Woodstock 1999 JUST to see Counting Crows, but experiencing so much more along the way. Driving back from SJU in my red Jeep listening to High Life and wondering why I continued to try in a relationship where I loved someone who wasn't giving me what I needed. Mrs. Potter's Lullaby. Have You Seen Me Lately (Live: Across The Wire version only). Chelsea. Holiday in Spain.

My best friends in Seattle are getting a divorce. I can't belive it, and I'm incredibly, unbelievably sad. I took out my engagement ring recently and placed it on the ole "ring finger". I was transformed. Right back to that moment. To the days following where it was difficult to focus at work because I would happen to catch a glimpse of my ring as I typed away at my desk and suddenly all focus was lost as I fell into deep excitement. I was engaged.

I guess things change and people change. And I've tried really hard to understand what is happening with my friends. With the world. With myself. Ultimately I can't really understand considering each and every person and relationship is different.

And now, I'm just excited to have a fantastic person in my life who I feel so lucky to hug and share my days with. And I turned up Counting Crows really loud in the car to celebrate that tonight. Another moment defined. Wherever I go I'll probably remember these feelings in ten years when I listen to that very song.

3 comments:

suzie said...

i love this post. i agree.. I'll hear a song on the radio and it will immediately bring me back to a time or a feeling that I sometimes haven't thought of in a long time..

I'm happy that you have so much love in your life right now.. you are a lucky woman.

jcf said...

Amen Franny. I'm right there with you and Adam Duritz...Have You Seen Me Lately on Recovering the Satellites...wowsa.

Hope you are well!

hales02 said...

heartfelt post and so true. i don't know about you, but i think music is the perfect avenue to revisit the past. moving, easy, intense, touching, ecstatic, sad, lovely, happy.
you have much life in you, f.