Hearts breaking all over the world.

First things first, Jora at the beginning of the night:


My oldest friend of 20+ year, Jora - who also happens to be one of my best friends still - is getting married on New Year's Eve. What I can never fully convey in a blog post is the love for which most of the planet has for this woman. Jora is truly a remarkable person and someone I can easily label as, "One of the nicest people I've ever met." She is dynamic and full of life, and if I can possess even an ounce of her goodness I'll be set. The fact that she will soon be off the market is going to set off a chain reaction of loss for so many who have held out hope for their chance to win her heart. Or for those who have tried and failed. If you don't know Jora or haven't heard me talk about her, I'll just say that her love life resembles that of a Seinfeld episode in that its completely ridiculous and hilarious. She's had stalkers. She's broken hearts. In high school, a lesbian softball player from an opposing school actually called our school, lied so that Jora would be called to the office to answer the phone, only to then ask her out. And I'm pretty sure I actually heard someone quote, "I think Jora ruined him. He was never the same after he fell in love with her." -and that was about someone who never even dated her!

We celebrated Jora and her final weeks before marriage a few weekends ago. The theme: Bride of Frankenstein and her zombie bridesmaids. And it was not difficult to find 35 women who would get dressed up, paint their faces and act crazy for an evening.

The bachelorette party started off in the same way girls have gotten ready for centuries: Music, drink in-hand, and a steady flow of chatter, laughter and people doing other peoples' make-up. As the transformations from Girl to Zombie rolled out, it was like a surprise and delight with each new person's unveiled appearance. The outcome was nothing short of scary: Bloody necks, dead-looking faces, old prom and bridesmaid dresses, and crazy hair. It was spectacular!

We then sipped beer and champagne as Jora opened all of the "personal shower" gifts i.e. vibrators and naughty lingerie. The evening out portion commenced when a green school bus scooped us up for a night of Townie bar heaven. Growing up in rural MN, I guess I made the assumption that everyone knows what a Townie bar is. Apparently not.

Townie Bar: A semi-rundown, pub-like establishment in a small town. Typically, each Townie bar is within a stone's throw of another Townie bar and its a matter of personal preference and comfort as to which Townie picks their respective Townie Bar. Upon visiting, one may find a scene somewhat like Ground Hog's Day (the movie) in that the clientelle usually remains saddled up to the same seats day after day. Townie Bars though, unlike any other type of bar, hold a special and familiar quality of goodness. A charm, per say. A comfort. A Townie bar is quite simply the best kind.

Imagine though, 35 zombie chicks rolling into your Townie Bar after years of the same people streaming in on a daily basis. We definitely rocked their worlds! The reactions were great and the explatives a plenty.

We zipped around in our green bus with the tunes blasting and cooler full-O-brews. We stopped at each Townie Bar just long enough to have one drink - or frankly, bring it with you if you hadn't yet finished it before the bus was taking off. And the final stop - The Stanchion - was a climax of people, dancing, music/karaoke and celebration.

When I stepped back to look around the bar as 30+ women dressed as zombie dead people shouted the lyrics to the song, "Don't Stop Believe'in!" only one thought possessed me: This is nothing short of awesome.

I think it is safe to say that Jora had one of the best nights of her life. The best part though, is that she so deserves it. Jora is one of the greatest people on this planet. I actually get a little choked up when I write this because my happiness for her touches a place in my heart. She has successfully found the man who not only sees all of her goodness, but appreciates everything about her. Adam and Jora are a great team and I am thrilled for them. I love you, friend!

And I'm Sorry, world, for the several hundreds of men who were holding out hope. As of NYE 2010, Jora will be officially off the market.

Finally, Jora by the end of the night: