Oprah.

So, Oprah's show is ending after 25 years. I must say, I'm not a huge Oprah fan, largely because I haven't really watched her show as I'm working when it broadcasts and I don't have up-to-date technology for "taping" scheduled programming. That said, devout fan of her show or not I think she is kinda the bomb. Is bomb up-to-date? I'm not sure it is.

I find I am slightly mesmerized by her and even more so during this dramatic and emotional Bon Voyage. She has had a profound affect on so many people in this world. I'm so inspired by her and also by the general reaction to her decision to end her show. Its almost like a teeny window into what it would be like at her funeral. I wonder if there's a part of her that sees it that way too. People gushing about what a fearless and generous person she's been and how she's changed so many lives. In any case, all this "look back" footage and recollection of the story of how she came to be who she is, are food for the soul in pushing me to live the life I want to live and do the things I want to do. Why is that such a hard concept?

Its hard for me in two ways:
+ Though I've had an interesting and successful career thus far, I am constantly searching for what it is I want to do with my life. This becomes incredibly frustrating and even a little sad for me at times.
And there is definitely an element of fear that relates to this search whether its represented in the form of, "Well that would be really fun and interesting, BUT..."(insert fear statement), or simply the realization that I am so far down a career path that to change or begin anew would be incredibly difficult. Not very Oprah of me.

+ Though I am proud of who I am and feel grateful for the gifts I have been given, I still struggle sometimes with doing things for me and not for other people, and feeling confident in the person I am.
I'm sure everyone struggles to feel comfortable in who they are to some extent, even Oprah, but she has this fearless way of announcing her insecurities, ultimately easing the pressure and allowing her to move forward with the support of people around her. She IS the bomb.

I feel like I did when Sex And The City was in its final season and having never seen the show I rented the whole series. Doreen and I obsessively watched every episode within like a week or something. I may have to find me some Oprah DVDs, hope for a rainy day or ten, and let the wisest woman of day-time tell me how to rock this world!